In 1972 Tall Tim was part of a crack commando unit that was sent to prison by a military court for a crime he didn't commit...Today he survives as a DJ of fortune.....No hang on, that was the A Team. Many years ago Tim was an astronaut, a man barely alive but we could rebuild him. We had the technology.....Tall Tim, better, stronger, faster.......No hang on that was The Six Million Dollar Man.

To be honest little is known about Tim due to the fact that to get a straight answer out of him is like getting a tortoise to moonwalk. It would take an extremely long time and you still wouldn't be sure if it had actually happened or not.

What we do know about the tall bald one also appears like a list of made up ridiculous experiences. However we are assured by the powers that be and a legal team that the information below is factually correct.

The 6ft 5 gob from Wolverhampton has a degree in Performing Arts and went to the same University as a the vicar's wife in Emmerdale, one of the soldiers in the Transformers movies and a man who got shot by a Dalek in Doctor Who. He once served Cher while demonstrating toys in Harrods, made numerous appearances in a comedy barber shop quartet and nearly appeared in the Bruce Willis film 'The Fifth Element' but for the fact he wasn't tall enough.

Tim is a child trapped in an adult’s body whose last memory of doing exercise was when he was stuck at the top of the rope in the school gym. Throughout his radio career he has interviewed a multitude of performers from Noel Gallagher to Chris Martin to John Cena to Kelly Clarkson to Davina McCall to The Chuckle Brothers. Apparently no restraining orders have been issued to date.

Tim compares himself to Marmite although maintains he is not brown or sticky and has never been spread on toast.